


Keep You Mine

by chzkate



Category: Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice
Genre: F/F, FxF, Love, Merdison, One Shot, Romance, f/f - Freeform, gxg, meddison
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:14:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28552929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chzkate/pseuds/chzkate
Summary: This is a collection of Addison Montgomery and Meredith Grey one shot
Relationships: Addison Montgomery/Meredith Grey
Comments: 27
Kudos: 37





	1. Wanted

Silence. I’m not used to this. I’m finally moved here in Seattle and it’s too silent compared to where I came from which is New York. Well, besides the rain that woke me up right in the middle of the night. In my dreams I saw _her_. She has the sweetest face I’ve ever seen. But why am I feeling something that I couldn’t explain? It’s like something is pushing me to find her, but where? I’m not even familiar in this place.

I switched my lights on, sighed and burred as I looked at the empty ceiling. _I’m cold, alone and lonely. I miss him_. Turning in circles, the droplets on my window pane remind me of the day I _hurt him_. Little did I not know, I have tears falling down my cheeks. _The pain may take a little while to ease, but I can forget to feel it at least._

Morning shun upon my face. It’s time. It’s my first day to step into SGH, I should make the best impression for the chief, but he’s my friend. Do I still need to? Anyway, I parked my car on the allotted parking space for me. I saw this nice red Cadillac CT4 parked next to me. “Nice car.” I muttered, then removed my shades off. I took a deep breath before stepping inside the hospital. _This is it_.

“Good morning Dr. Montgomery.” _Ah the feeling when you get to hear the title_. “Good morning chief. I’m ready.”

“I know you are. Come on, I’ll walk you to your floor.”

“That’s sweet. Thank you.”

“You’re Addison Shep—Montgomery.” _Please get used on calling me Montgomery, Richard._ “It’s fine. Let’s just get used to it.”

The elevator doors opened, the nightmare of the past appeared before me. My heart crushed, I couldn’t breathe. He was looking at me the way he looked at me when he saw me kissing his best friend, _empty_. I looked away because the flashback was running in my head and I didn’t wanna remember it. _It still hurts_.

“Dr. _Shepherd_.”

He knew that we will be working under the same hospital, but I didn’t know that the pain will be heavier every time I see his dreamy face.

“Dr. Webber.” He muttered as he stepped into the elevator as if he didn’t see me. _I can tolerate it._

Richard and I stopped into the NICU to see the babies. Cute babies, little angels. I love them. I patted my eyes on the opposite side of the room and saw a blonde doctor, talking to a patient. I couldn’t see her face since she had her back facing me. My heart raced as if something is gonna happen weird. _Is she—_

Richard lead me on her direction and cleared his throat. The blonde doctor turned her back and my eyes winded. _She is_. “This is Dr. _Meredith Grey_ , chief of General Surgery.” She sweetly smiled at me and reached her hand out. I shook it saying “Dr. Addison Montgomery.”

“She is now the new chief of OB/GYN and Neonatal Surgery.”

I really didn’t wanna brag but, Richard did the talking.

“I hope you guys will get along. I have to go now.”

Meredith and I just nodded and I shyly looked back at her. She did the same to me, so in order to avoid more awkward moments, I asked her about the patient. She gave me the chart and our hands touched, I felt an electric shock that went straight to my heart. _I am feeling things I’ve never felt before._

“Meredith, can I talk to you for a second?” That familiar voice disturbed our moment. I sighed, stepping away from the blonde doctor, but when I looked at her eyes, they twinkle brighter than the stars above.

_Does it mean…_

I secretly glanced at them, I froze when when Derek ran his knuckles on her face. _She is my sub. But why am I more jealous of Derek? This is not right_.

I waited for Meredith to come back, and when she did “Sorry about that. He’s just like that sometimes.”

“That’s fine. So you uh, together now?” _Because the divorce papers were just finalized 3 days ago, and he already found someone else_.

“Not yet. But we are getting there.” I just nodded. _Don’t get there_. “Come on, let me introduce you to everybody.” She held my hand and I immediately got tensed. “Your hand is cold. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m okay.” _Just don’t let go._ Meredith took me to the attending’s lounge. And there’s everybody. Their eyes widened when they saw me.

“No way.” Callie talked first. Yeah I knew her. I met here from one of the conferences I’ve attended. She’s cool. “We have a Montgomery working here?”

“Yes! Our new head of OB. _Hot doctors are really coming in here_. First it was McDreamy.” _McWhat_?! “Now we have a McHotty.” _Excuse me_? Meredith is talking a weird language. Help!

They all welcomed me warmly. It’s like they’re already a family here and I belong. Yang, chief of cardio. Torres, chief of ortho, Avery the ENT Attending, Robbins, chief of Pediatrics, Karev peds attending. Of course the legendary Miranda Bailey, co-head of general.

She looked at me the way Callie was looking at me. They knew what happened between me and the head of the neurosurgery. They were the only ones who knew what happened.

The door opened and there he was, leaning on the doorframe. “What is she doing here?”

“Derek! At least be respectful.” Meredith kind of scolded him. “No it’s fine. I’ll just leave. Nice meeting you everybody.”

“You do not get to leave this room Dr. Montgomery.” Bailey butted in. I don’t wanna cause a scene. I should better go. “Dr. Shepherd should learn how to accept and forgive.”

“Accept and forgive what she did to me? She cheated on me with my best friend.”

“It was just a drunk kiss Derek. You walked away instead of fixing the things we have to fix.”

“We were married Addison.”

“You were absent!”

“Wait, married?” Meredith walked in the middle of us. “You were married?” And faced Derek when she said that. “You lied to me Derek. You said you do not have any baggage when we met.”

“The divorce papers were already on process when we met Meredith. Listen to me.”

Meredith shook her head. “Why would I listen to a liar?” Then she faced me with her glistening eyes. “Addison?” She reached her hand out again for me to _hold_. “ _Let’s get out of here._ ”

She pulled me out of the room and we ran as if we were running away from The Void. We heard the chief calling out our names but Meredith and I kept on running out of the hospital.

I never felt something like this before. When I held her hand I felt like I stepped into a new world. A world where there’s no judgments, no rules. Just us.

Meredith and I were finally out of the hospital. “Let’s go somewhere silent. Away from something that can ruin us.”

“You own that Cadillac?” I was surprised when she opened the door for me. “Yes I do. Come on.”

“Wait. Let me just get my bag.” I turned to the other side to open my car and I heard Meredith’s “That 911 carrera is yours?”

“Yes. Want me to drive you instead?” _I’ll drive you crazy._ “I wouldn’t say no to that.”

So yes, we used my car instead and she was just pointing me directions where to go. But we stopped over to a pit stop to buy drinks and food since she told me that we can just take the day off and just come back to work tomorrow. _I didn’t expect her to be like this. I love it_.

Finally, we arrived at our destination. _Washington Park Arboretum._

“It’s beautiful here.” I said so amazed because it looks quiet and peaceful and colorful. “I know. I always come here when I feel down and stressed. We should sit on the bench right there. While we feed the ducks.”

I missed feeding ducks. I used to do it at the Central Park back in New York.

“I’m sorry about earlier. You shouldn’t have witnessed that.” I said, sitting on the bench. Meredith sat down beside me and handed me some bread to feed the ducks. “It’s fine. Derek’s an asshole sometimes. That’s why I’m doubting if I should continue dating him or not.”

“He sometimes is an asshole but he’s a good mad. I just hurt him. That’s why.”

She then put her hand on my thigh and rubbed my skin. “Is it true?”

“It is.” I don’t wanna keep it a secret since she already knew it. “I was drunk, his best friend Mark kind of said sweet things that Derek should’ve said to me. I fell for that, until the only thing I was aware of, is my lips tangled on my husband’s best friend’s lips.”

“So if I kissed you now.” _Wait what?_ “No one will gonna hurt you.” Is she serious?

“Meredith.”

“Ssshhh.”

She cupped my face with her soft palms, rubbed my cheeks with her thumbs. The glitters in her eyes drown me into the deepest galaxy, where I found _love_ and _safety._

My breath was slow and shallow, her sweet innocent scent lingers through my nostrils, leaving a trail of rose petals straight to my heart, which was already beating so fast to the extent that I’m ready to fall in love again. I closed my eyes until I felt the curve of her lips pressed against mine. They’re as soft as the clouds, sweet as cherries. I felt weak, but my mouth was strong enough to reciprocate the same delicate kiss Meredith was giving me.

I opened my mouth a little bit to grip a small breath but Meredith took that chance to slip her tongue inside. I moaned her name unconsciously and she stopped. _Why?_

“Addison. You moaned my name.” A bright smile appeared on her face. “I—did.” _Am I that bad?_ “Let’s feed the ducks.” _Oh god Meredith._

She tore a piece of bread and threw it at the ducks. I was just staring at her, she’s pretty and I couldn’t stop staring. “I have to tell you something.”

“Hold that thought. Let’s eat first I’m starving.” She passed me a sandwich and a fruit juice. “Let me tell you something first.”

“I’m all ears.”

“I saw a picture of you in Derek’s wallet.” Woah, he’s still keeping that picture of me? I mean the the one he stole while I was laughing so hard, in front of The Met building. Anyway… “I felt jealous because he got to have you, and I only got him? I think it’s unfair.” She laughed sweetly. She’s really sweet and funny at the same time. “So when I heard that you’ll be working with us, I got excited. The only thing that was driving me the past few days is to get to see you. Just to tell you—” She shook her head then looked at me with her sincerest look. “You don’t have to believe me but I’m hoping you would. I—I fell in love with you from the moment I saw your picture. You’re so beautiful and ‘twas like there was a magic that hit me to find you.”

_I couldn’t believe this._

“I dreamt about you.” I replied silently. “Your face was the only clear vision I’ve seen in my dreams. I was thinking that you’re also the reason why I decided to agree with Richard’s offer and move here to Seattle. _To meet you_ and…”

“…to _love you_.” Meredith ended the statement. I smiled almost crying. “I hope we can work this out.” She reached for my hand and clasped with hers. “ _We can, and we will._ ”

“Great.” She leaned closer again to press her lips with mine. I couldn’t get enough of her lips, of her kiss. “I have to end things with Derek first.”

“You can do that tonight.”

“Tomorrow. I feel like I wanna spend my time with you tonight, only you Addison.”

“You’re really gonna make me cry Meredith.”

“I can also make you scream. Specially my name.”

“Meredith!” I gasped. I couldn’t believe she’s this naughty! “I love it when you laugh. You just don’t light up my world, but you also illuminate the whole world.” I was blushing so hard for sure. She knew how to get me.

“Addison.” Meredith ran her knuckles on my cheek. “I promise, you’re safe with me. And I know it’s too early to say this but I love you, and I will love you even more each day.”

And there, my tears started falling down from my eyes. Meredith just smiled and kissed those tears away. I don’t know what to say to her. I’m speechless. “Don’t cry Addison. I’ll always be here for you.”

“I just feel overwhelmed. Thank God you exist Meredith. But how can we tell others? And I know, Derek won’t take it good.”

Suddenly the ducks flocked their wings on the pond, water splashed on our gowns. And yes! We were still wearing our hospital gowns! There are smudges everywhere. Meredith and I just looked at each other and laughed like there’s no tomorrow.

“We can go to my hotel room, you can use some of my clothes.” I suggested. A smirk appeared on Meredith’s face. “I’d like that.” But no, _nothing will be happening yet_. “All righty then. Let’s go.”

I reached my hand out first for her. She didn’t hesitate to intertwine her fingers on mine. “Addison.” She stopped. “DO NOT DRIVE LIKE A CAR RACER. I MEAN IT.”

Well Meredith, I can’t promise you that. But I can assure you one thing. You’re the only one my heart had ever wanted. 


	2. Wanted_2

“I swear to god Addison Adrianne!” I was screaming inside the car because Addison was driving as if she’s a drag racer who owns the road. And she’s just laughing at me! “You’re safe with me Meredith. I’m a good driver.” _For fuck’s sake I am holding my dear life!_ “Hold on tight.” Addison accelerated again. _Holy sh—_

My eyes were closed the whole time, I don’t wanna see the road even if ‘twas empty because I was too damn afraid. Addison Montgomery is a badass, and she’s gonna be the death of me!

_Stopped._

We finally stopped. Thank goodness!

“We are here. You worry too much Dr. Grey. I told you I’m a good driver.” _No Addison, you’re a road monster!_ “You made my heart skip so fast!” I grabbed her hand and put it on my chest. “Feel that Dr. Montgomery?”

“I do. It’s beating for me.” She winked.

_Actually…_

“Yeah. True.” I clasped her hand with mine, then kissed her knuckles. I stared at her eyes, they are like the vast ocean, shimmering under the bright sun. _Addison Montgomery is dangerously beautiful._

“Meredith.” I recollected myself when she said my name. I love the way she rolled my name out from her tongue. _Say it again. Say it again_. “Meredith. Are we gonna go out or stay here in this car for the rest of our lives?” She raised her eyebrows, waiting for me to answer. “Well, _we are both wet,_ so we better get into your hotel room.” I seductively muttered with my teasing smirk. She just chuckled a little, shaking her head.

_Let’s burn Addison. Let’s burn_.

We got out of the car laughing because we looked like those _runaway doctors still with their lab coats on._

“It’s my first day working at SGH and I’ve already messed up.” Addison couldn’t stop laughing while we were inside the elevator, going up to her room. “Don’t worry about it, you’re with me. But we’re both gonna get a whoop on the ass.”

When our eyes met, we stopped laughing. The hotness of the tension between us was growing stronger. Her back was resting on the wall, and I’m in front of her, just breathing her in. I moved closer to her face, our noses were almost touching, lips were parted, our eyes were not leaving on each other’s. I put my hands on her hips then rubbed them up and down her side. Addison closed her eyes and took a deep breath, releasing with the soft whimper “ _Meredith_ ” of my name.

I felt the zipper of her skirt, was about to zip it down but the doors already opened. Her eyes shut open, luckily there’s no people waiting outside. We’re already on the right floor.

Wait no. _This is a penthouse_.

“You are living in a penthouse?”

“Not mine. It’s my parents’.” _Well why of course, she’s a Forbes-Montgomery_. “They just let me stay here, closer to my work place.” _She can have it all, she even already got me_.

The view up here is so beautiful. I can even see the space needle as if I’m so close of touching it.

“Come on, let’s go to my room so you can choose some clothes to wear.” Addison suggested after putting her things on the island.

“Can I wear you—as my crown instead?” _If you know what I mean._

I guess Addison got it. She widened her eyes and opened her mouth. “Meredith!”

“What? Come on. You’re the most beautiful crown to be sitting on my face.”

“Oh okay that’s it. _No clothes for you then Dr. Grey._ ” Addison looked at me seductively while removing every piece of her clothing in front of my naked eyes. _What a sexy tease_.

“I’ll take that as you’ve agreed to my proposal.” I ran towards her and then pinned her on the cold wall. She’s just in her undies and what a sight for me to look at for the rest of my life. “You’re so hot Addison. _I’m falling so hard._ ”

“Did I burn you _Dr. Grey?_ ” She bit her lip, patting her eyes slowly. I leaned my face on her neck, barely brushing my lips on her skin. I could feel she’s having goosies from her head to toe. I traveled my right hand down the band of her knickers, slightly tucking my thumb in, pulling it down a little bit. I heard her moan and almost gave her all in.

“Do you like how I make you feel Dr. Montgomery?” I whispered, licking and tugging her earlobe.

“Yes…” she gripped my hair a little bit harder. I wanna tease her more, so I moved my mouth down her chest, planting wet kisses on top of her breasts while my fingers started running on her core. She yelped and breathed in hard. I know she’s already turned on so I pulled away. “What the f—”

“Seriously Meredith?!” _Wow she’s mad!_

“Can I use your shower?” Addison’s just scowling at me, I couldn’t help myself but laugh at her mad face. “No.” She rolled her eyes at me, then walked straight to her room. But I followed her anyway. “Please Addison.”

“Do you think you deserve to use my shower after turning me on and leaving me open and undone?” _Damn she’s really mad_. “Oh no you don’t Dr. Grey.” She’s sitting on her bed, removing her jewelries. _Time to make it up to her_.

I knelt in front of her, spread her legs apart. “What are you doing Meredith?”

“Making up to you, so you can let me use your shower. Now relax Addison. _Let me do you._ ” I lifted her left leg, so smooth and her milky skin made it look so delicious to run my tongue onto. I reached her inner thighs, I was just looking at her, breathing heavily, eyes closed and enjoying what I was doing to her. I stood up to remove my clothes, I pushed her down the bed, now I’m hovering on top of her.

Lips tangled on each other, tongues were dominating, competitively fighting for the best kisser title. Not gonna lie, she’s the best kiss I ever have. Addison’s the _best kisser_ compared to the men I’ve kissed before, compared to _our ex, Derek Shepherd._

Her hands were traveling all over my body, her little breaths and soft moans were music to my ears.

I am sure, _she’s the one I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with._

She flipped us over now she’s on top of me, giggling of what she just did. “You ready to be my crown now Dr. Montgomery?”

“Keep the title off my name then.” She suddenly shifted her hips up, with just a second, _I have an instant crown._

My tongue automatically did its own thing, travelled on Addison’s sensitive and soft skin as if it’s lost and looking for the safe place called _clitoris_. She arched her back, as she’s also holding onto her breast, adding more pleasure to her sensitive body.

Moments later, her legs begun shaking and she hold on to the headboard for support. I just held her hips even though she’s squeezing my face with her thighs, I still continued doing what I was doing, _pleasuring_ her. Until “Oh god Meredith…yes…yes Mer…aaaah fuck!”

_I told you, I can make you scream my name._

Addison came hard on my face and I won’t argue with that. _I loved it_. She laid down the bed breathless, I hovered her to kiss her lips, she grabbed my head and deepens the kiss, not minding where my mouth was earlier. “Hmm. I taste good. _But I wonder how you taste Meredith._ ”

That sent shiver up and down my spine. “I wonder how it feels like to have your tongue inside me, Addie.” I kissed her again, I couldn’t get enough of her lips. They’re so soft and kissable and… “Ow. Don’t bite me Mer.”

“I’m sorry. Your lips taste so sweet.” I was pecking her in between words. “Well you can suck, but no bite.”

“That’s noted. Now, can I use the shower?” I smiled cutely, raising my brows at her. Hoping she’d finally say yes. “Only if I’m in the picture.”

“From now on, you will always be in the picture with me. Come on.” I helped her stand up, then we ran into the bathroom.

“Babe. It’s cold!” I complained. Addison was just standing there, looking perplexed. “What? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”

“No. But you called me _babe_.” She had this wide smile that showed her sexy crimson cheekbones that I love. “Did you also call Derek that—”

“Never.” _I’m serious._ “I was just calling him by his first name or sometimes Dr. Shepherd.” We didn’t actually have an endearment.

“Okay.” _Are you?_ “Addie.”

“No. I’m fine. I’m glad we’re having this connection.” She leaned closer to kiss my lips to reassure me that she’s fine.

The water hitting our backs was still cold but we didn’t mind. We were both busy feeling each other. But we both jumped when we heard something breaking.

“Archer!” Addison muttered grumpily. “Who? You have a boyfriend?”

“Uh no. My brother.” It was clear that she’s frustrated. “He kind of breaks something accidentally because of his clumsiness and he’s dumb.” She sighed, getting a robe. “I’ll be back.” _Wow._

I could hear her talking but not clear enough for me to understand. So I just continued showering fast, to know what was happening because I couldn’t hear them arguing anymore. _Yes they were arguing about something, maybe about the broken thing_.

I went out from the bathroom, caught Addison talking to a girl. _Brother huh?_ I cleared my throat to get her attention. “ _Honey._ ” She smiled. “This is Charlotte, my brother’s girlfriend.” _Good to know_. “Dr. King, this is Dr. Meredith Grey. My girlfriend.”

_Girlfriend. Are we moving too fast?_ _I don’t think so. I love it. Girlfriend._

“I’m really sorry for disturbing you.” I just smiled at her. A forced one. “Archer’s really having a hard time. I’ll leave you two now.” She walked straight to the right wing.

“So where were we?” Addison finally faced me, pulling me closer to her. “Shower. But I’m finished. You can continue yours.” I touched her cheek. “Way to ruin the mood huh.”

“Addison, we still have a lot of times. So go on. I’ll be raiding your closet.”

“Okay.” She leaned down, giving me a kiss before running back to the bathroom. I breathed, shaking my head. _I just met her brother’s girlfriend and not actually her brother. Great!_

Her closet’s bigger than my room. Wow! All of her clothes are designer’s?! Does she even have something which is not? Because I—

“Have you chosen yet?” I flinched when she wrapped her arms around my waist. Kissing my cheek. “Oh not yet. I’m looking for the old and simplest ones.”

“I have t-shirt, jeans and sweats on the left side.” She just let me rummage on it. She got hers, shorts and a Yale hoodie. But instead of wearing those, she gave them to me. “Try ‘em on. It’d look better on you.” So I did put them on. “See! Better.” She clapped her hands and smiled at me.

I watched her get her clothes. A black floral sundress. Have I mentioned that most of her clothes are black? Yes! Black!

“So what are we gonna do today?” She twirled around, leaving me in awe. “We can stay here in your room, talk about life or just make out. We cannot have sex again since your brother is on the other side of this building. We don’t want him to hear you screaming my name so loud.” I sat down the couch facing the window, covered with cream curtains.

She opened the curtain and a more beautiful view appeared before me. Blues skies, the space needle. What a kind of sunny day. “We are definitely staying here!” I winked at her.

Addison sat down beside me, but I shifted, opened my legs so she’s sitting in between them. I wrapped my arms around her, then inhaled her scent. She smelled so good. Like _gardenia_.

“Im okay with that. As long as I’m with you Meredith.”

I don’t have something to say anymore. Because this woman stole my breath away.


	3. Enemies

The look they were giving into each other was too dangerously sharp. It can cut your skin into millions of pieces and will leave you nothing but a scar.

Two women. One blonde and one redhead.

Who will win over McDreamy’s heart? The legal, or the additional?

~

“Really? That’s my husband’s mistress?” Addison rolled her eyes after looking at Meredith who was happily talking with the man of her dreams, Derek, which was also the love of Addison’s life. “Correction. Ex husband. And Montgomery.” Callie warned her friend. Do not do something that’ll make you regret after.” Callie held Addison’s arm, stopping her from doing something she’s afraid Addison might do. But Addison’s not like that. “You know me better Callie.” She grumpily closed the chart and walked away to lock herself in the cubicle, _to cry again._

The ortho goddess followed her best friend. She held her arm before Addison could reach the cubicle’s lock. “I’m not gonna let you cry again. Maybe it’s time for you to give Derek up. I’m saying this because you don’t deserve the pain, Addison.” Callie hugged the redhead. “He was the love of my life Callie. It’s hard for me to just let go and move on.”

11 years of marriage and all would be thrown away for just a _one night stand with a girl from the bar_. “You’re a Forbes-Montgomery. Don’t let a Shepherd take that from you.” That was deep, something that could make Addison stand back up to her own feet. “You’re right.” She let go from the hug to wipe her face with the crumpled tissue. “Good girl. Now let’s go back to our patient. Who will break the news first?”

“You. Because you break bones.” Callie rolled her eyes as she softly pushes Addison out of the bathroom.

On the other hand, Meredith and Cristina were talking about nothing but _feelings._ “Tell him the truth.” Meredith just rolled her eyes. _She wants him to burn slowly._ “No Cristina. I want him to taste his own medicine. He played us, he lied to us.”

“But he’s your McDreamy, why the change of heart?”

“Not anymore since I’ve discovered that Addison, ADDISON MONTGOMERY IS HIS WIFE!” _Was._

_Meredith Grey, a sweet blonde doctor had a thing for the hotshot redhead_. And her best friend, Cristina, knew about it. “Well, at first I want Addison to cringe while watching me and Derek flirt, but when I saw her cry, God knows Cristina! I want to comfort her and tell her how sorry I am.”

The half Korean best friend raised her right eyebrow, saying _“You’re more in love with McHottie than McDreamy.”_ Silently in her head. “Tell Addison the truth. If you’re guilty, stand up and confess to Addison.”

“What am I gonna tell her? That I’m stupid enough doing the flirting with her husband just for fun?”

“Stupid enough to plot a failing parallel plan. Just do it. Now I have to go prep for my surgery. Heart heart baby.”

Meredith just leaned on the wall, watching her best friend walk away. Thinking Cristina’s right. _Addison is not the Enemy here, Derek is. That bastard!_

~ _A week later_ ~

The elevator doors opened, welcoming the blonde girl outside to step in. But the redhead was just standing there, staring blankly at Meredith. _That passive aggressive calmness_. “I’ll page you, Addison.” Callie, stepped out, and Meredith stepped in.

_Now or never_.

Meredith pressed the elevator’s stop button, took a deep breath before saying… “I’m sorry Addison.” She wasn’t looking at her yet, but McHottie was already paying attention to her. She felt aback albeit she knew this would come. “I was stupid enough to choose the wrong person.” Finally, Meredith earned the courage to look Addison in the eyes. “You were hurting when I expected your anger. I hated that. I hate that you’re hurting because of me.” Deep sigh released from Meredith’s lungs, _confessing isn’t easy as the world paint it to be_. “Right now, I just wanna hurt Derek the way we did to you. You don’t deserve to—”

“Meredith.” Addison reached for the blonde’s hand and rubbed her thumb on top of it. “You didn’t know.” And then she smiled, making Meredith form a confusion on her delicate face. “Yes I was hurting, but little by little, I learned how to let go. It’s hard, but at least we had a great history.”

Still, Dr. Grey was feeling guilty. The thing between him and Derek ended three days ago. The guilt of not having Addison by her side was making her sleepless. _She wanted her so bad_.

“I also have something to confess.” Addison bit her lip, making Meredith squint her eyes, controlling herself not to be turned on. _And yes, they have a secret mutual feeling for each other_. The jittery feeling coursing through her veins was making her ticker race so fast.

“I don’t know how else should I say this, but Meredith, you’re the reason why I couldn’t sleep at night. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, but you keep me awake and alive in the middle of the night and—”

Meredith shut the redhead up by pressing her soft lips against Addison’s. The redhead moaned, enjoying the stolen kiss she was willing to give in return. Addison’s hands dropped down on Meredith’s waist, switching them over so Meredith’s back was pressed against the wall. Addison slowly pulled away but her forehead was still resting against Meredith’s.

Their breaths were fast and deep. Eyes locked on each other. _Paradise_. “We’ve loved the wrong person.” Addison whispered and they both giggled.

The elevator was still stalling, the two doctors sat down the floor, Meredith’s head was resting in Addison’s shoulder, their hands were intertwined. _Heaven_.

“I still feel guilty for ruining your marriage. Tell me, what should I do make you forgive me completely?” Muttered the blonde doctor who was comfortably clinging to Montgomery.

“I only have one thing in my mind.” Addison captured Meredith’s chin, then leaned down to give her a soft and delicate kiss on the lips. Meredith smirk, _thinking something burning hot_. But— “Let’s make Derek pee in his own pants.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s flirt publicly, show him that we don’t need him in our lives.” _Because we already found each other_.

“Do you think it will work?”

“I know Derek half of my life. So, are you up for the plan Dr. Grey?” Addison smirked.

“Only if I got another kiss from you Dr. Montgomery.” Addison granted Meredith’s request. They made out for another minute inside the elevator.

“Here we go.”

“Let’s drag down the enemy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. This one’s so short. I was feeling down lonely and I couldn’t bring back my energy to write something good. But I’m hoping you still liked it. 
> 
> Hope everyone’s doing okay too :))
> 
> xoxo


	4. Can’t Help Falling In Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is for my lovely Aiah. Happy birthday dear. ❤️

“Addie…” A sweet and joyful voice knocks the redhead’s attention while looking into her computer. She isn’t paying attention tho because she’s busy doing something. _A research._ Meredith tries to get Addison’s attention again but she fails. “At least acknowledge that I exist.” She breaths then sadly gets out of the attending’s lounge. At that moment, the redhead finally looks at the blonde’s direction. Eyeing her up and down.

“Are you two fighting?” Miranda bats a squint on Addison, she politely shakes her head and gets back to do what she’s doing. “ _So much for today._ ” Addison whispers to herself as Miranda leaves her alone in the room. She still has one hour before her next surgery, so Addison decides to take it to _think_.

On the other side, Meredith is ranting to her best friend, Cristina. “She acts like I don’t exist. We were so happy last night, and today she decided to be her _Satan_ self _._ ” Meredith groans as she rolls her eyes, frustrated on her current situation. “Maybe she has a lot going on today. Give her a pass Mer.” But then, the two best friends see their topic walking on the hallway, talking to Alex Karev with a wide smile on her face.

“She didn’t smile at me like that today, now she’s happy with Alex. What’s wrong with her?” Meredith and Addison’s eyes meet, but the blonde doctor only receives a close smile from her _lover_ before walking on the opposite direction with Alex. _Seriously?_ “See that Cristina?” Dr. Yang just look at Grey with her mischievous smirk. “What’s with the smirk?”

“Nothing. You’re jealous of Alex.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are. Knowing that they somehow had a past.”

That makes Meredith blow smokes out of her nose and ears. She hates knowing the fact that Addison dated guys before her—hates more the fact that she herself dated Addison’s ex husband before dating her. They spent years tolerating what had been served in front of them without looking that the right dish was just under their noses.

“I think I’m losing her Cristina.” A sad and melodic defeated voice comes out from Grey’s breath. She leans her back on the blank wall and runs her fingers through her hair. “I love Addison, she’s my family and her, treating me like this hurts so bad.”

“Meredith. Listen to me. You’re over thinking. Stop that. Talk to her tonight after you...” Cristina suddenly _stops_. Meredith throws her a curious look. “After your shifts end. You’ll get sex right after.”

Speaking of sex, Meredith and Addison didn’t get some for almost a week now, because of their busy schedules and now that Addison is being aloof from her _wife_ , Meredith thinks that it’s impossible to get some tonight. “Yeah. That’s impossible.”

Their pagers go off. _Trauma._

_Car crashes_

_Blood_

_Broken bones_

_Silent breaths_

_Death_

After hours of surgeries, Meredith walk herself out of the OR and just sit down the floor, holding her wife’s _Mr. Scrub Cap_ since they exchanged the other day.

A cup of hot coco appears in front of her, she follows the familiar hand up and see the face of the woman she’s been longing to kiss. _Juju_. Meredith accepts it, then Addison sits down beside her, wrapping her arm around Meredith’s shoulders. She let the blonde girl’s head rest on her chest before saying “ _I’m sorry._ ” After a couple of minutes. “For acting like you don’t exist. I just—well I have things to deal with and I don’t want you to worry about me, worrying with those.”

Meredith looks at the red head with her purest look and put her cold palm on her face. “Addison, you’re my wife. I’d rather worry about you worrying things than let you act like I’m not here. _You’ll forever be a part of me_. _I love you and that’s not gonna change._ ”

That melts Addison’s heart. Now feeling guilty for acting like a bxxch to the love of her life earlier today. So… “I love you more Grey.” She’s taking a step by annoying Meredith.

“Uh how many times did I tell not to call me Grey?”

“Well you call me Monty sometimes.”

“So you’re paying back now Addison?”

“No. Just annoying you. Because you look so cute and tiny when you are.” Meredith suddenly detaches herself from Addison’s arm lock. “Seriously, you wanna do this?”

“If you want to then, I’m not gonna stop.”

“No one’s getting something tonight then.”

Meredith stands up and starts walking away but Addison catches her up, wrapping her arms around the blonde doctor’s waist. “You do not get to leave me like that.” Addison pins her on the wall and leans her head down to whisper, “If we were just alone here, I’d rip your clothes off and do you right here right now.” Then tugs Meredith earlobe, leaving goosies all over her body. “Addison—” only soft whisper from the Grey doctor.

“Drink your coco before it gets cold. And by the way, Keisha called, she has to go before 5pm so I’ll be going home earlier today. See you at home sweetie.” Addison plants a quick but sweet peck on Meredith’s lips before walking away from her astonished wife.

~

It’s almost 9pm when Meredith reaches home. She calls her wife’s name but no ones answering. So she calls out again. “Addison? Where are you?” She looks all over the house but there’s no one in. “Zola…Henry…Bailey…Ellis. Where are you guys?” Only the toys and books scatter on the floor can hear Meredith’s call.

She goes into the master’s bedroom but only welcomes by Addison’s bag on the bed. _It’s open._ Addison doesn’t usually leave or open her bag everywhere unless she forgets to. But that’s not happening even once in a blue moon.

_Something’s wrong._

Now Meredith starts thinking impossible things.

“Addison!” She checks the bathroom but there’s no one in there. She tries calling her wife’s phone but then she hears it ringing on their bedside table. “Damn it Addison where are you?! Where are the kids?!”

Meredith phone vibrates. She receives a call from an unknown number. “Hello?”

A man’s voice answers her back. “If you wanna see your kids and your wife, follow everything I’ll be sending you.” And the call ends. Suddenly, Meredith receives a text message with the list of everything she has to do. But it’s a very _weird list_.

  1. Wear the red dress hanging on the closet
  2. Put your hair on a bun and leave strands in front
  3. Black car awaits after



Meredith squints her eyes but follows immediately after showering so she can finally see her children and her wife. The whole thing weirds her out but she has no choice but to follow what she’s been told. She doesn’t want anything bad happen to Addison, Zola, Bailey, Henry and Ellis. Now that she’s finished doing the first two on the list, Meredith hesitates to open the door and follow the third and last step.

“ _This is for my wife and children._ ” She finally opens the door and a man in black standing beside the black car is waiting for her.

“Where are you taking me?” She asks but the man isn’t answering her. The ride is so silent that Meredith can hear her own heartbeat and the flowing of her blood.

They finally reach the destination and another man in black says “Follow me.” He offers his arm and Meredith crosses her arm with his. The man in black walks her inside a private property in Seattle. Every step she takes, the more her heart beats louder and stronger. She can now finally see something that melts her heart.

A nice setup on the gazebo, candlelight with flower petals are scattered on the pathway. The man politely leaves her to follow the path until it leads her to where Addison and the kids are.

Addison looks at the love of her life with tears in her eyes, like it’s taking her back to the time when they said “ _I do_.” Meredith looks so beautiful in red. Instrumental music is playing softly on the background while Meredith is waking closer and closer to them.

“She’s like a princess, mommy.” Henry tugs Addison’s dress. “Why are you crying?” Addison doesn’t even realize she’s already crying. “I’m just…” _so in love with Meredith Grey._

“You planned all these?” Meredith asks as she accepts Addison’s hand. “I did with the help of our little angels here.”

“I want you to know that I had a mini heart attack when I couldn’t find you at home. I thought something bad happened, I thought you left me already and I thought—” Addison stops her wife from talking too much by pulling her close by the waist and pressing her lips with hers. The kids on the back squeal and clap their hands. “Sit down Meredith.”

“But what’s the occasion?”

“Mom. Did you forget already?” Zola questions.

“Is it our anniversary? Uh no. It’s on May and now’s just November so…”

The kids and Addison are just staring at Meredith with almost laughing face. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Mom, it’s your birthday!” The kids say in chorus, making Meredith eyes widen. “You forgot. I asked you last night and you said you don’t want to celebrate it. But I want to do something special for you. That’s why I was acting like a bxxch this morning to surprise you tonight.” Addison holds Meredith’s hand. “Happy birthday _my love_.”

“Thank you Addison, really you didn’t have to do this.”

“Well I did. I just want you to be happy and loved. You deserved everything Meredith. Right kids?”

“Yes. And you can even eat my cake later mom.” Little Ellis smiles sweetly. “Because sweets are not for you Ellis.” Bailey buts in. “Well not for all of us. But tonight we can.” Henry continues. “Yeah because it’s our mom’s birthday and mommy Addison said it’s our pass.” Zola ends up.

“And you really talked the kids on this huh?”

“Mhm, I let them eat sweets tonight so they can help me plan things out.” Addison leans closer to Meredith to whisper “So I can eat my cake later tonight too.” With her hand sliding on Meredith’s inner thighs.

“Addison!” Meredith holds into Addison’s hand and pushes it away. “I’m hungry. Let’s eat.” She’s blushing so hard under the fairy lights and Addison is just admiring the view.

After the dinner, “May I dance with you _Meredith Grey-Montgomery_?” Addison offers her hand and Meredith accepts it without any hesitation. Addison leads her to the garden where there’s a space for them to dance. The kids follow them and they stand there in line.

Addison wraps her arms around Meredith’s waist, pulling her close to her as Meredith does the same on Addison’s neck.

An instrumental music starts playing and Zola sings…

_Wise men say_

_Only fools rush in_

_But I can’t help_

_Falling in love with you_

Meredith opens her mouth hearing her daughter sings. But she has no clue that…

_Shall I stay_

_Would it be a sin_

_If I can’t help_

_Falling in love with you_

Bailey can sing too.

“Oh my god.”

Now it’s Henry’s turn.

_Like a river flows_

_Surely to the sea_

_Darling so it goes_

_Some things are meant to be_

“We are meant to be, Meredith.” Addison caresses Meredith’s face with her knuckles. “I love you, forever and always.”

_Take my hand_

_Take my whole life too_

_For I can’t help_

_Falling in love with you_

Little Ellis sweet voice continues the song and at that moment Meredith let’s out her tears. 

“I love you so much Addison. Thank you for this fairytale like birthday surprise. God I don’t know what to say. I’m so happy. I love you so much.”

Addison kisses the tears on Meredith’s face. “You don’t have to say anything Meredith. Just stay right here, with me.”


	5. Safe Place

“Addie…” Meredith was shaking Addison to wake up, they are getting late and Richard might scold them _again_.

“No. It’s still early.” Her groggy and at the same time provocative voice turned Meredith into a hot mess early in the morning but no, she’s not going to fall for the trap. “It’s almost 9 Addison. Get up!” She hit her a pillow that made Addison jump off the bed. “You hit me hard.”

“I’ll hit your harder if you didn’t move. Come on.”

“Shower with me?” Addison smirked, trying to convince Meredith to shower together.

Meredith thought otherwise but then again they are getting late and they need to consume the remaining time wisely. She was about to answer but Addison already grabbed her wrist and they ran straight to the bathroom. They were laughing adorably while stripping off their clothes.

Addison turned the shower on and it was cold, making Meredith jump and clung on Addison’s body. She felt her soft breasts on her chest and at that moment, she didn’t wanna go anywhere else in the world but stay there with Addison.

Meredith thought… _I love being with Addison, she makes me happy and I forget about everything when I’m with her. She makes me laugh. She looks tough but she’s one of the funniest person I’ve ever met but I don’t know if she—_

“You really don’t like cold showers in the morning huh?” Addison chuckled, rubbing Meredith’s back with her soft touch. “Yeah. It’s just cold and I don’t like cold.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make you warm.” Addison captures Meredith’s chin, making her look deeply into her eyes. Meredith was lost deeply into Addison’s, thinking all the things Addison was about to do with her. Slowly, Addison leaned down to press her lips with Meredith. _Morning kisses is one of the things she loves the most_. But for the first time, Meredith pulled away.

Addison looked at her confusedly, questioning _why?_ “Shower Addison. We don’t even have time to get breakfast after this.” Meredith pulled away from Addison’s grip to continue taking her quick shower even if it was cold. Addison was just standing there perplexed. “What’s the problem Meredith?”

“Nothing, we just have to move fast.” Answered Meredith without looking back at the _woman she’s already falling in love with_.

The two finally were ready to go to work. Addison was the one driving because she can definitely run over the red lights and she doesn’t give a damn about it. While Meredith was just staring at the window. When they got to the hospital, Meredith climbed off the car without waiting for Addison. The redhead tried to call her name but Meredith didn’t look back. Addison assumed that she might be locking Meredith that much and she just needs a breather.

~

The two had a deal. They agreed to just play around with each other’s playhouse until Addison goes back in Los Angeles. They also agreed with one condition. _No falling in love._

~

“Good morning Dr. Montgomery.” Stevens greeted the leggy redhead hot doctor as she walked into the hallway. “Good morning Dr. Stevens.” Izzie gave the chart as she was presenting about the patient. Addison could be listening but she couldn’t stop thinking about Meredith.

On the other hand, Meredith was in the X-ray room with Alex. “You okay Dr. Grey?” Karev eyed at her. “Yeah it’s just—Ad—I’m…”

“It’s Addison isn’t it?” Alex crossed his arms in front of Meredith, giving her a “Spill it Mer. What happened? Did she hurt you?”

“No Alex. But I think I did. I’m so stupid.” Meredith sighed. “She’s leaving for a couple of days and I think, I’m falling in love with her.”

“Tell her the truth. Don’t wait for the day you’ll regret not telling her about how you feel.” Alex put his hand on Meredith’s head, ruffling her hair. “That’s the problem Alex, we agreed _not to fall in love with each other_.” _But she’s my safe place and I’m so warm when I’m with her_. _It’s not hard to love Addison._

“Do you want me to tell her then?” Meredith pushed Alex hand away. “No Alex! Just don’t say anything.”

“I’m just messing with you. Looking at that hot doctor, I also wanna have my way with her. But you know what Meredith, try to talk to her. You never know, she may be feeling the same way towards you.”

_She just wants to play. But her game is safety. Love? She can push that off. Besides, she’s not gonna stay here in Seattle for long. One month of being together, that’s enough for me to fall in love with a Montgomery. She enamored me._

The door suddenly opened and appeared the apple of Meredith’s eye, with Alex’s lover.

“I’ll talk to you later Alex.” Meredith was obviously avoiding Addison and the hot doctor didn’t have a clue why. So she followed Meredith out and pinned her on the wall. “Dr. Grey.” She sounded so serious. “Did I do something wrong? Tell me so I can fix it before I leave—”

_That’s the problem!_ Meredith told herself, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell that to the woman who captured her heart. But she had to. So she pulled Addison to the nearest on-call room.

“Addison I—” Meredith took a deep breath. “I know we have an agreement and it shouldn’t be this hard but you’re making it hard for me.”

Addison was so puzzled that she just wanted Meredith Grey to go directly to the point. “I think I’m—” Meredith looked down again. “Damn it Meredith just say it.”

“ _I love you Addison!_ ” _There I said it._

Addison was taken aback of course. She was so aware about their agreement, and at that moment Meredith was in front of her, revealing and pouring her heart out on what she’s feeling about the redhead.

“Please say something Addison. I feel like a fool here.”

“This is ridiculous Meredith!” Addison chuckled and put her palm on her forehead. “You can’t!”

_That shattered Meredith’s heart into billions of pieces._

“You can’t love me Meredith.” Addison shook her head. “I have to go.” Before leaving the breaking Meredith alone in the on-call room.

_I knew it. She doesn’t feel the same way about me. She made me feel like the most stupid human being. I hate—no, I still love her but I hate her!_

Meredith recollected herself, wiped her tears away. She had to compose herself and not to breakdown at that time. ‘Twas not the right time and place to do so, even tho Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery broke her heart.

~

_2 days later_

_~_

_The after party’s dying_

_And the only thing I’m cravin’ is you_

_Must be something in this drink_

_‘Cause it really got me thinkin’ about ya_

There’s a farewell party for Addison. Most of the doctors (closest) and nurses are there, including Meredith herself who was busy tossing tequila at the bar. She couldn’t help but to stare at Addison who was wearing a silk silver dress with plunging neckline.

_You’re there, talking to people. Being the respected and prominent person you are. And you couldn’t even see me looking at you._

“Hey Meredith.” Cristina nudged her best friend’s side. “You look lovely tonight. Wanna go dance? I love the song. _It’s our song_.”

“I think I’ll just stay here and drink, Cristina.” Muttered Meredith, still looking at the redhead who was also looking at her. “Do you wanna say goodbye to Addison in a nice way?”

“I’d rather get myself drunk.”

“What’s gotten into you Mer? You’re not yourself since the other day. Satan really did something to you. Spill it.”

Meredith just shook her head and shot another glass of tequila. “I don’t care. She doesn’t feel the same about me, so what’s there to fight?”

Cristina widened her eyes. “You’re in love with a Montgomery?!” Her best friend just shrugged her shoulders, then turned around to ask for another shot of tequila.

“Mer…”

“What do you want Cristina?”

_It’s not Cristina._

“I’m sorry, _Dr. Grey._ ” _That voice. How can I forget that voice? It’s already stuck in my head like a last song syndrome._ “You don’t have to apologize Addie. I love you, you don’t love me. It’s fine.” Meredith faced her and laughed a little bit, but the tears in her eyes were slowly showing. “I hope you’re happy leaving Seattle. And I hope we see each other again one of these days.”

_At the bar where I know you might show up_

_I’ve rehearsed in my head what I’d say_

“I think people are already looking for you Addison. They’re more important than me.”

“Meredith.”

“Addison, I’m fine. _Goodbye_ , I guess.” Meredith held Addison’s hand.

“Tomorrow’s my flight at 2am.”

“Can I at least get a hug from you?” _Drunk Meredith talking_. “Of course Mer.” Addison hugged the woman she _wanted to love_ then whispered… “For the record, you made my last 30 days here in Seattle awesome. _You’re the best thing that ever happened to me_.”

The reason why Addison didn’t let Meredith love her was because she reminded her of their late ex-husband. Addison didn’t want a cycle, she was afraid she might do the things she did before, and she didn’t want to hurt Meredith. Leaving was the best thing she thought that could save her and Meredith from everything.

_Battling with closure_

_Fighting on my own_

_It’s funny how I told ya_

_I’d rather be alone_

Addison was waiting for her flight to be called, and the same time she was waiting for _Meredith to show up and stop her, ask her to stay with her instead_. But that was so impossible because they’ve already had their closure.

Last call for her flight. “She didn’t show.” Addison muttered, getting her bags to walk through the gate. _“Goodbye I guess_.”

No looking back, she stepped up the plane, staying on the first class seat. “ _I should’ve fought. But I’m too coward._ ”

On the other hand, panting Meredith was pleading the woman at the lobby to give her a ticket to LA, but the one Addison had taken was the last. “Please, I just have to catch her!”

“I’m sorry ma’am but but the earliest flight will be tomorrow at 9 in the morning.”

Meredith cursed under her breath. People are going off their way and she’s just there, sitting alone and regretting not driving earlier to catch Addison.

Somehow, because of a sudden emergency, the airport was closing so Meredith didn’t have a choice but to go home and rest herself. Even tho wishing Addison to come back instantly like magic, there’s no such thing.

_Will I wake up in the morning with a different mind_

_Or would you still be on it_

Meredith couldn’t sleep, the sun was up high. So she decided to go to her favorite park.

The flowers were blooming and colorful, but there’s not much people around since ‘twas kind of early still. She sat down on the bench near the pond, _where she and Addison fed the ducks_.

“Sorry, I don’t have bread today.” Meredith whispered sadly, as if the ducks understood and they swam away from her. “Everyone leaves me. Even the ducks are leaving me now.”

She felt her phone vibrating. She didn’t check the caller ID and answered it immediately.

“Meredith.” A longing and sad voice could be heard from the other line.

“Addison!” _Indeed._

_Can we forget why we ended_

_Who’s wrong or right_

_Pick up where we left off_

_Make up for lost time_

“Turn around.” Meredith furrowed her eyebrows when Addison commanded her to. “What?”

“Just do it Meredith.”

Meredith didn’t have an idea that Addison was already walking closer to her.

“Why does it feel like I’m hearing your personal voice, like you’re here.” Questioned Meredith.

Addison turned the phone off and “Turn around Meredith.” Whispered to her.

Meredith heart began to race so fast. She turned around and found Addison standing behind her.

“Tell me this is real.”

“I am real Meredith.”

_Your body is my sofa_

_I wanna be at home_

_Should’ve never told ya_

_I’d rather be alone_

Meredith couldn’t help it but cry while wrapping her arms around Addison’s frame. Addison did the same to her, with a little bit of back rub as Meredith loved it.

“You’re really here. I went to the airport to stop you but I failed.” Meredith mumbled on Addison’s chest, still crying hard tho.

“I couldn’t bring myself to leave you alone, because damn it, I love you Meredith!”

Meredith picked her head up to look at Addison in the eyes. Addison wiped Meredith’s face full of tears and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ears. “You love me?”

“I’m not gonna repeat it.”

“Say it again Addie!” Meredith pouted, making Addison chuckle.

_What if you chose to tell me what’s on your mind_

_What if I didn’t give you space, give you time_

_Would you have stayed_

“ _I love you Meredith._ ”

Finally, Meredith smiled and pulled Addison’s face down on hers. Their lips finally touched and Addison tightened her grip around her _lover’s body_.

“Don’t leave again. Just stay, right here with me.”

“I will never ever leave you Meredith Grey. _You’re my safe place.”_


End file.
